Loneliness

I love songs, especially those touched deep down the emotional one. 

I love to sing, imagining as if you are into that situation and sing it out loud to relieve the tension you have keep for so long. 

This is one of my favorite. But I haven't got chance to find it when go for sing K, doubt whether I am able to find it. 

Say Forever by GoGo & MeMe

I am really afraid of loneliness, but can't escape as being a lonely one, because I used to keep the real feeling for myself, never really take off my mask from anyone. The environment of growing up made me learnt to accept anything that I had to pass through, nor matter like it or not, even really unsatisfactorily with that, I will still go ahead, if I think I will overcome it soon or later. 

Anyway, it leads me to where I am today. 

At the age of 9, I never think of being the abnormal one, but I had the chance to be different from the others, and for some kind of reason I grabbed it and it changed my life, my friends, my way. I had to leave my own class, my friends since pre-school, with my so-so result, enter a new environment, make new friends, and tried to study hard not to make my teacher disappointed and not letting people look down on me. 

At the age of 11, I never think of entering Malay Middle School as from a Chinese Educated Background, I still can remember how disappointed are we, for me and my friends. But end up, we entered and yet we enjoyed a lot, learnt a lot from the school, the teachers, the friends, forgot about frustrated of not able enter a better English school, get the chances to enjoy Music in our life, making friends with people from different background, as well as different religions. It colors and brighten my life since then.  

I had have dream of leaving home one day, but never thought of going so far and travel even further. My first time of leaving home was when I was 17 years old, getting my first job officially at Genting Highlands. Even I am now imagine back of myself those years, I do doubt what kind of force pushed me for having the braveness to do so. Until, I got the courage to leave home alone, to unknown places. Now, I do hope I have the chance to travel to the other end of the earth.

After that, instead of obeying sisters' suggestions on my tertiary education, I insisted of enter Six Form although it has been well known to be tough and low chances of entering local University. Well, guess I have succeeded again. This might be also a very seldom scene that I have chosen different subject with my best friend. A good beginning also, I have learnt to be more independent and getting to know more friends instead of sticking to only one. In fact, I somehow wished to stick back by writing letter with her, but the start of different path of us did make our life travel further and never got cross over. 

Time go further, we had grab our STPM cert and waiting for entering University, again, I am travelling alone for my university to a place that is totally strange to me. I am really got headache that time, whether to take it or reject and wait for another unknown. After considerations of all, I chose to take it. 

Three years it had travel so far, I am still on the path, I do believe I have done my tasks to make friends and study from the people I have come across. 

Internship, another of my lonely four months, I am first disappointed to be alone, but end up I am glad to be alone, having my memories that no one can really share of, too much to tell, too free to enjoy my long lost loneliness, enjoy disturbing my friends from distance away, complaining while enjoy. (what a girl? but I am always like that. ) 

End up, it is going to be end of the four months here, I am going to enter another part of my life again, start of another journey (which is almost a three-months holiday), and got to start for my final year project soon, meeting up with my coursemates, sharing our stories, and together we pass our final year and will sure miss each and everyone of them. 

Life, being meeting up people, say goodbye, and meet with new people, crossover and over, until one day, you realized, your friend of yours is another friend of his, your colleague might know your family members and so on and so forth. 

You will find surprises anywhere when you do realized them in your life.  

#Being alone is lonely, when missing someone only you will feel the loneliness wherever you go. 

When couples are having fun, you will found that you missed something. 

Learn to adapt the feeling, overcome it, and find back myself to care of the person I should care most, welcome back, Chong Jiao Wei. 

Time to get some trim for my messy hair ad.