Everyone has got its strengths and weaknesses, so do I. I am not born to be a leader, neither a potential follower, I just wish to have my own style, be with myself alone.
For once in my life time, I thought I should be a mad scientist, hide in the lab for all day long doing the research, live in my own imaginary world without the need of wearing a mask to face anyone. Maybe that is one of the reason for my planning to further my study. But I soon realized that the world is changing, to deal with people is a must nor matter where you go, whether you like it or not. That is why a lot of time, I chose to hide in the room, face the computer?
When it comes to almost the end, I realized myself had enough of facing the final exam. Monday is the day of first paper, and I am not ready to read any notes yet. Same case happened for last semester, not sure it is because I am over confident (results showed that I am really not ready for exam) or it is time for a change of path in life.
Why is it happening?
What should I do?
When can I have a change?
Where to go?
How a change should consider a change?
I am not a strong person as people see me, neither I am really ambitious. In fact, I hold more negative strength than positive one, only I am trying to make them neutral or at least it would be look like neutral.
Looking at the leftover notes for me during the Food Technology Night, my hands start shaking again, along with the heart beating faster than usual.
I am a lazy person, will try any way to conserve my energy. When I will talk more? Most likely I am just don't want the situation went down. Sometimes I do talk too much when I am into the excited mood but there are also times I am just too lazy and don't know what to talk especially I am tired or at home.
How I can become best friends with others? They got to have a strong heart to withstand my bi-characteristic of being too talkative and also too boring. Or maybe that make me mix with different kind of people around.
Everyday look at the inbox to check for the incoming email, never check my handphone so frequent. It has been two months for the job application. I don't know how long they still need to give me an answer, whether a "yes" or a rejection.
Must say, this final year is really outlining my laziness, I am not sure whether because of the kids is looking for the way out or simply it is giving the objections for growth. Like it or not, there is no way of return, the show must go on. I thought every stress and unsure will end in May, but it seems like it has been drag to June, the final year project, job application, addition of final exam, and homesick. The prolonged periods are making me fatigue.
Can't expect much for my final exam in this condition. I need to find my mood and confident back as soon as possible. >.<
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