Fears for life?

This semester is indeed a challenging one for all my coursemates, after we come back from internship. Relaxed for one semester without study for test and exam, without assignment, project and presentation.
We are here, in our final year of undergraduate degree.

It seems to be just happened yesterday we first enter and had our orientation. But no! We had join our direct seniors' convocation on the September, and started to countdown one year to the end of our first degree life as well.

Two week after we come back to study, we get to know who is our supervisor for Final Year Project, and each one of us get our title for the individual or combined project, and start our literature reviews of the scientific journals that related to your topic, study the basics as well as the really detailed one.

From nothing (basically we have a totally new topic for us to have a research study, or maybe a very shallow knowledge), after a month all of us become an "expert" on our topic of study, and then very soon we had our proposal presentation to have a rough idea on how we going to present for our VIVA in front of our examiner and supervisor. Each of us have got good suggestion and advice from the examiner to make our research a better one. Not forget that the supervisor who guided us along the months and half a year to go.

Then the laboratory work started, before or after the presentation. Everyone rushing in and out at the lab, while I am still walking in and out, to take my time as because of I need to take a break and also calm my mind down as I know rushing will make my steps confusing and I won't be succeed. (Although I am really walk like turtle now compared to others. )

And now it already the last two weeks before the study weeks, tonnes of assignments are still on the list to be done. Oh yea, indeed a crazy semester I am experiencing and this is just the beginning!!

First semester I totally stop joining any activity as a committee member, and but I can't imagine it has become my most hectic life along the years.

Fear???

Apparently not so serious happen on me yet. Maybe I have one supervisor that comfort me a lot when I am in doubted. I am not sure if it is good or bad, but at least I am more likely to feel that I am still on the track, even I walk like turtle.

Because of the unusual calm (only for FYP, maybe I am also distracted by the assignments and projects more than the FYP do to me), I can see the other who are really cracking their head rushing for their projects, having headache of how to proceed like me, suffering from nightmares, arguing because of opinions, after all, I am worried but not so severe.

Well, finally the turtle start her laboratory work this week by visiting each lab assistant available to ask for more details, and seek for friends help when needed. What I can say is, FRIENDSHIP is now the time of being used!!! You will really appreciate it for the supports, for the courage, for the opinions, for the advice, even for the negative response. Because after all, you are the one who need to digest them in your brain and evaluate it yourself for the best outcome.

But what make up today's topic? The fear of losing ones life.

A few years ago, when my paternal grandparents passed away within a year, when the period that I have to visit the hospital for my beloved family on daily. Yes, I am in fear. The fear whether I am ready to face it all. When the fear eventually got to be accept, digested and the other are safe, I thought. But it never come to an end. From time to time, there is news of the friend's family, and even friends of mine who passed away.

Yes, friend in our age!

The first one I faced it when I was in 12 years old!

Another one is one I knew since primary, a good friend.

And today, a senior, which I thought it was a joke at first and try to blame on those who spread the rumors as today is his birthday. But hell no. It is a truth. No one is trying to make fun of it.  Not really a close one, I don't even know him and neither he know me as well. But it is just make today not so in good mood.

A good friend of mine told me: "We must really appreciate the one besides us, and not forget to tell them you love them."

Yes, I know it very well. Anyway, it is always the "BUT".

I am fear to lose anyone I am deeply in love. As well as mine. Never thought of it again.

Life being a fragile one. Live at the moment we suppose to be. From the most sincere of me, Jiao Wei.

Rest In Peace.